


Aprons and English men... Oh my

by HalloweenPanda



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Anal Sex, Aprons, Costume Kink, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexy Times, Spanking, Vibrators, kitty england
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 22:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1202305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalloweenPanda/pseuds/HalloweenPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small side story during the German Halloween plot. Where Arthur gets a bit tipsy and Alfred is there to help. Very smutty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aprons and English men... Oh my

**Author's Note:**

> Costume idea from a pic I saw once and the plot from a very porny England pic. Please enjoy!

The Halloween costume party was in full swing. All the guests were having a grand time; chatting and laughing and getting wasted. France always hosted parties like these for special occasions, or for just the hell of it. Mostly for the hell of it. A time for everyone to let loose, be wild, and have fun. Sadly England wasn't one of them.

Dressed in a suave pirate outfit, he was at the moment getting his ears talked off by the ever annoying America. Finishing the remaining sip of his seventh glass of champagne, he heaved another sigh as his companion teased him about his costume.

"Yo England, bit of a shorty on the captain side. Not even enough to be first mate even." Alfred laughed, nudging the English man in his now sore ribs from the countless other times. "Shut up, you wanker! Size doesn't matter. I'm a man!" he stated, thumping his chest.

"Yeah right." he snorted. "Aye aye, captain midget."

"Stuff it!!!" Snagging another glass the blond man downs it in one gulp.

What the bloody hell! Why did he even agree to come to this stupid party? He detested the French man with every fiber of his being. He didn't care for the ridiculous costumes or idle chit chat. And he most of all hated that damn America tailing him everywhere he went. The instant he got to the party they were joined at the hip. He'd much rather be back home trying out the new spell books he recently bought.

Evil thoughts swirled around his head. Perhaps he could place a nice little curse on America. Yeah. One that would give him financial problems for years. That would show him!

Chuckling like an imbecile he was brought back to reality when Alfred pinched his cheek hard. "Ouch! Let go, you bastard! That hurts!" But the evil man pinched his other cheek and stretched out his face.

"This is what you get for spacing out. Now suffer!" he laughed. England flailed his arms wildly. "Stop! Stop!! Don't pull!!!" Freeing his face, he shoots the American a dirty look. "Don't play such childish tricks! Act your age!" Really. Life was one big comic book joke to this guy.

America only gave a wide smile. "Why? With you around I always have a good time." Arthur choked on his champagne and looked at the man. For once in his life he really didn't know what to say. But then he realized it was probably because he always poked fun at him and turned up his nose with a humph. America chuckled at his stubbornness and drank his beer. Arthur peeked out at him out of the corner of his eye. He really didn't have anyone to really keep him company at the party so.... maybe having the idiot around wasn't so bad.

The hours stretched, but the party still raged on and with it strange incidences occurred.

The pair witnessed an Italian red riding hood followed close by a very hungry German wolf, a chef clad China futilely trying to escape the pursuit of a frightening Russian jail warden, an S&M Prussia- oh wait, he was just dressed in classic German attire-, Spain the matador carrying off a sailor Romano, a neko butler Japan molested by Greece- a Greek god of course-, and a kingly overly gaudy French man marching around. With or without pants was left to the imagination.

England swayed on his feet. The number of glasses he'd consumed since then had been, at best, in the high double digits, beginning with light champagne and rapidly maturing into more hard liquors. With his umpteenth something glass of brandy, Arthur was not really sure if the chaos he was seeing was real or just a side effect of the booze. Really, he didn't see the usual stoic Germany running around frantically in those ridiculous ears and tail. And he most certainly didn't just see China run by with no pants... right. Oh who cares? It was a party!

Yup, a party! And that meant a good time!

America watched the shorter man with slight concern. He was already downing another glass and wondered what was keeping him standing; not that he even noticed he'd drank just as much as he had, but not even feeling a thing. "Um, hey England, don't you think you should take it easy?"

The blond man shot him a glare, getting very pissed for some reason. "Why, so you can falsely claim I can't hold it like the rest of them?" he sneered, jabbing a finger at the extremely handsome fighter pilot before him. "Well I'll have you know I have a constitution as strong as iron!" Gripping the glass tightly in his hand, England downed the rest of the contents then snatched America's and downing that as well. "Ha ha! What did I tell you," he smirked, wiping his mouth, "Not even Dionysus can compare to me-."

The English pirate's triumphant face suddenly turned very green. Alfred stood stunned by the sudden childish outburst, and the consumption of both glasses but suddenly became alarmed by the sudden color change. "Uh, England? You all- OH MY GOD! Hold it in! HOLD IT IN!!! BATHROOM!!!"

Quickly retreating to the closet bathroom, half drunk and nearly wasted, England emptied the contents of his stomach into a toilet.

Alfred stood by quietly. Hearing the toilet flush, he offered a wet towel. "Uhn... I think I must be coming down with a virus." the blond groaned, taking the towel and heading for the sink to wash up. Alfred rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. Too bad that virus got all over your costume."

Arthur grimaced at the memory. He was able to clean the entire front of his outfit, but now he was soaking wet. "Damn... I can't wear this..." he slurred, still very tipsy from the booze binge fest. Frowning, he tugs angrily at the wet coat as if it were at fault for getting dirty.

Holding in a laugh, Alfred rested a hand on his shoulder. "Hold on here a minute. Knowing France, I'm sure he has a spare costume somewhere. You just wait here and rest...." And off he went to fetch some fresh clothes.

Arthur was a little shocked at the man's kind action. Turning on the faucet, he splashed some water onto his face. His cheeks felt hot. The way he smiled so endearingly just then sent his head into a spin. No. It was the alcohol that was causing all this. He hated that idiot. Hated the way he teased and tormented him, hated the way he threw his weight around spouting nonsense, hated the way his costume really set of those powerful legs... wait... what?

Screaming in his head, he slapped more water into his face. When that stupid America comes back he'll punch his lights out for... for.... being so tall!

Alcohol has such interesting affects on rational thinking.

"I'm back!" America chimed.

"KILL!" screamed the English man. Alfred stepped to the side when the blond man suddenly sprang at him, swinging his fist, but ended up running into the door. Alfred tilted his head. "Um... were you pretending to be a real pirate just now?" England stood where he was, with his face still smashed against the door. "Just shut up...."

After the supposed attempted assault, America helped England slip out of his soaked clothes until he was in his underwear, which were ruined as well. Taking the wet clothes, Alfred handed over the dry costume. "Here. These were the only ones I could find."

Arthur took them with a grunt, which was probably a thank you, and went about trying to put them on. This proved a tad difficult. His head swam at the slightest movement and nearly toppled over several times. Alfred caught his arm in time and steadied him to his feet. "Woah there. A little sea sick are we?" he playfully mocked. England huffed and tried to shove him away but only ended up falling against the other's chest. America laughed and righted him up. "Calm down, buddy. Just hold still and I'll help you dress."

Wanting to snap a rude comment, England was far too tired and too drunk to care anymore and allowed this moron's assistance.

The next few moments floated by like a dream. Alfred's hands brushed like tips of feathers across his pale skin, the fabric drifting onto his slender form. One leg was lifted and something slipped up, then the other was lifted as well and done the same.

Was it Arthur's imagination, or was he becoming short of breath. He also must have been cold. Why else would his body shiver against those finger tips? Uh oh... was that a whimper?

America steps back, slapping the non existent dust from his hands. "There ya go, all done." He gave a loud whistle and shot a thumbs up. "Wow, you make this look good, England."

"Huh?" England had no idea what the stupid bovine was going on about. And why did he feel a draft? What sort of replacement costume did... he.... "EEEK!"

Looking into the wide mirror England was completely dumbfounded. No longer was he dressed as a pirate. No, having relinquished almost all his clothing he he was dressed up in something far worse.

An apron! A black apron with bright neon green ruffled lace. Not believing his eyes, he openly gawked when he noticed the black silk stockings with ruffled straps fastened to the sides. The horrors continued when he saw the pair of black cat ears atop his head, with the same green colored fluff inside. And when he turned around, oh if someone would just shoot him! Some how, or other, his underwear had been replaced with sheer black silk lingerie, with a paw print on the left cheek, and held up with only thin green strings. And attached to these was a sleek black tail.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!!?!!!" the English man hissed, his fake ears and tail adding to the effect of his mood.

Alfred terribly held back the overflowing urge to laugh. "Like I said. It was the only thing I could f-f-f-find, heh heh heh...."

"It's not funny!!!!!!!!!!!!" England was beyond angry, nearing the edge of hysterical. "You're telling me, that the only thing you could find was this crime against humanity!! Damn that France and his sick ways!!!" The man ranted on in a half drunken rage, stamping his feet, cursing the air and having an all out tantrum, all the while America simply watched in quiet amusement.

Finally tiring himself out, and on the near urge of tears, the smaller man puffed his cheeks out and kicked up another small fuss. "Give me my clothes back! I'd rather wear wet ones then this! What kind of man would find wearing something like this the least bit attractiv- mph!"

Arthur's words were cut short. In one moment he was cursing and swearing and plotting the burning of every lingerie store, and the next America was crushing his lips against his; holding the back of his head firmly and tilting it back for more access.

England was far too shock to protest. His body gave a sharp shiver, letting out a small noise as he felt something hot and wet dip into his mouth. The wet noises emitting between their mouths pierced through the blond man's ear, making him blush shamefully. His body was growing so hot so fast, it made his head spin. Whimpering pathetically, he clawed at the leather bomber jacket of Alfred's. Spinning and spinning, he knees wobbled ready to give way, and then the kiss broke. England inhaled deeply, not realizing he had been holding his breath. His little lungs screamed for air while his heart rammed against his rib cage for freedom. With his body reddened in a dark rose, he would have most likely collapsed to the floor if it wasn't for the strong arm wrapped around his waist.

America looked down at the confused English man, dragging the tip of his tongue across his lips to sample the lingering flavor. "You've no idea what you do to me..." he smiled handsomely. Gone was the happy go lucky fool, and here stood a strong, captivating man England had only seen once on that battle field long long ago. America smirked, casually stroking the back of his knuckle along the man's thigh.

England's heart pounded violently, his eyes wide. "W-what... do you- ah..." It was hard to form words when those lips brushed along his Adam's apple.

"Exactly the way it sounds.... Arthur...." he whispered in a thick voice.

Arthur's voice hitched in his throat. He rarely called him that. Why? Why this all of a sudden... Futilely he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. But America already understood his plight and chuckled, delicately holding his chin to look into those arousing green eyes. "You're wondering why I'm doing this all of a sudden?" here he smiled suavely, "Do you remember the Christmas party last year? No, you probably don't. Had a bit too much eggnog, didn't ya?"

England tried to recall the the past event. He remembered he was arguing with France, who was a Santa streaker, and had a drink. A few drinks. But that was all he could recall.

America continued to smile, his fingers continuing to stroke those soft black stockings. "Yeah, now you're starting to get it. All a blank, isn't it. But let me tell you... that wasn't where it ended. I found you nearly at the mercy of France, since you were nearly passed out, so I took you to the bathroom to clean you up. At that point you were drunk out of your mind and had to hold on to me tightly. And do you want to know what you did then?" He looked into those green eyes that reflected to the brim of tension and worry, but most of all, curiosity. "You kissed me. After calling me your knight in shining armor, you kissed me and practically threw yourself at me. And when you got to your knees and pulled down my pants and... let's just say you gave me one a hell of a time...."

Arthur blushed deeply, unable to believe what he was hearing or what was happening to him. Did he really do what this man was telling him? No of course not. Why would he do a thing like that! .... and yet....

Alfred suddenly began to advance toward the man, which instinctively made him back up till his bare back touched the cold wall. His hot skin could almost hiss with steam.

"And after that, I couldn't stop thinking of you in that way." he continued, bracing his palms to the flat surface of the wall on either side of England's head. He leaned in, with that sexy smile all alight and smoldering. "Do you even realize what I crave every time I look at you?" His dark blue eyes took in the slender form wrapped in black and green lace. "Do you like the costume I picked out for you? It's really cute..."

Again England blushed even redder. So it wasn't the only costume he could find. He purposely chose this! Pushing the man away, he ran to the door, but found it locked. Instantly he reached for the lock but froze as a hand gently rested itself against the door, followed by a cool voice in his ear. "And where do you think you're going, kitty? Don't you want to play with your master?” he purred thickly into his ear. “See? Master is already pleased with your outfit...." Shifting his hips forward, England gasped when he felt something hard pressed against his bottom. That devilish tongue flicked out, running along the shell of his ear while a pair of strong gloved hands drag up his trembling torso. The tips of his fingers roll over a pair small soft mounds beneath the apron and quickly caught them between his thumb and forefingers.

Arthur cried out in surprise and offered an even more desperate one when they were were tugged and twisted around without remorse. Arthur keened with each rough tug, vigorously trying to dispel the abounding pleasure he was feeling there. And when he felt the friction of the man grinding into him from behind, it was all too late for him to escape.

America released the swollen nipples and allowed his fingers to descend down the man's sides till they reached the sheer undergarments. Plucking a strand of ribbon in each hand, he tugged the bows free. England inhaled nervously, feeling the underwear drift down between his legs and crumble to the floor, for now, with the exception of the apron and stockings, he was fully exposed from behind. "Yum,yum... such a cute little butt you've got here, Iggy." teased Alfred, filling his hands with those soft globes. "So round and smooth.... and deliciously ripe..." England let out a sharp whimper. Countless times he's been groped there by France and hated it. But now why does it feel good when America does it?

The man drank up the intoxicating sounds England sang. Giving a particularly sharp squeeze, England yelped, rising to his toes. Alfred whispered into his ear again. "Mmm, I'm liking the sounds of your voice. Let's see what other noises you can make..." The clicking of a belt being unfastened frightened the blond man. Fearing the worse, he didn't expect to lifted into the air and tucked underneath an arm backwards.

Hoisted up in the air, England squealed protest at having his ass displayed to the open air. America chuckled and slipped his belt out, folding it in half. "By the way, were you trying to hit me back then?" he inquired playfully, lightly touching the soft swell of ass with the folded leather.

"N-n-no! N-n-n-not at a-all." the English man blurted nervously. But Alfred thought otherwise. "Ohhhh... I don't think so." he grinned maliciously. "Little kitties who show their claws need to be punished." Raising the belt he swiftly struck the naked flesh with a loud snap. Arthur screamed out at the biting sting. "Bad kitty." the man tutted, and struck him again.

Over and over the belt struck out, causing the man to bark in pain. "Mercy! Mercy!!" he wailed, arching his back when he was struck again; his cheeks burning a deep tan of red.

America ceased his punishment. "All right. Since you asked so nicely...." Dropping the belt, he examined his handy work. "Poor thing..." he sighed, stroking his gloved hand over the still tinged flesh. "Master went too rough on you." Arthur whimpered at the touch. His skin was overly sensitive to the tough leather and gasped sharply when a single finger dipped between his buttocks. "Uh! Wh-what are you...."

"Shhhh. No worries, kitty. Master is just seeing if everything is all right."

"Mmmnnn!" England shivered and gave a sudden buck when a inquisitive finger touched an area that shouldn't be touched. But Alfred went no further and tenderly lowered him to the carpeted floor. England breathed freely, his cheek to the carpet, too weak and sore to even move. Normally he'd be jumping up and cussing the wretched man out, but he was incapable of even speaking. Aside from the stinging pain in his ass, his nipples were stiff and his lower regions already swelling.

Dropping to his knees, Alfred again groped the soft cheeks. "There, there. Master will make the hurt go away." Unzipping his jacket, Alfred removed a small paper bag and removed a small jar and unscrewed the top. Dipping a gloved finger into the thick goo, and smoothing it out with his thumb, he once again slips it between the crevasses till it touched with a tightly puckered hole.

"W-wait. What are you- Ngh!" Arthur cringed as the digit pushed inside, diving into areas that have never been explored before. Since it was lubricated it plunged smoothly in and out, preparing the area for another to enter. A second accompanied after, and both squished loudly inside the tight cavity. A third only made the sucking wet noises even louder and soon the small English man was writhing and clawing the carpet. "A-america- ngh- What are yo- oh- plea-se- UH UH UH! N-not there..."

The man's pleas were useless against those leather gloved fingers pushing in and out of him. With his hips jolting with each plunge, he uttered a hoarse yelp when the fingers were removed. Strangely it left him feeling very empty inside. Taking the opportunity to gather what was left of his wits he gasped loudly when some strange object was suddenly entering him. "W-what?" Looking over his shoulder he saw the larger man smiling sweetly down at him, some sort of device in his hand with a cord that must have been attached to what ever it was inside him.

"What... what is that...?" the English man stammered, his heart pounding in dread. Alfred's smile melted adoringly, which struck right to England's soul. Raising the device, he extended his thumb over the button and said to him soothingly, "Something to make you purr." And pressed the button.

"UHH!!!!" England's inside went wild. A bullet like vibrator buzzed savagely in the man's hot depths, sending shock waves of pleasurable agony through out his body. He wailed and tried to reached for it, but Alfred stopped him and bound his wrists with his belt. "Uh, uh, uh. All kitty's should purr when they feel good. Maybe I don't have it on high enough...." Pressing another button, the buzzing grew more violent and wrathfully thrashed about in the smaller man. Arthur bucked and cried, overwhelmed by the sweet pleasure he was receiving down there. His cock, long since stiff and dripping clear nectar, swelled even more, dribbling fountains of pre-come.

The toy was snugly pressing against a special spot that had his head reeling and body spasm. "Nice. Very nice. Just listen to the way you purr." America remarked, stroking the soft blond like hair much like an owner does with a pet. "But we can't have you coming yet. No, no. Not after you've made me wait almost an entire year...." Picking up a green ribbon from the lingerie, he wraps a nice tight bow at the base of the weeping cock. Arthur meowed in protest. "No! Please, no! No more.... uh! UH! Oh go- please let me come.... LET ME COME!!"

"No." the American smirked, and turned the sex toy on to full blast.

England screamed, his inside electrocuted with unstoppable bliss and no way to release it. Tears filled his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, his mind was slowly going numb from the unending desire howling in his soul. His anus oozed sexual juices, winking uncontrollably. Arthur bowed his back, panting like a dog, feeling himself going mad with rapturous delight. "Oh! .... please.... please no more. I can't bare it any longer...." he begged meekly, his voice losing all its strength.

Alfred watched in sinful gratification at the way the English man was all but begging him to end his misery. But that would have been too easy. Shifting the sexually stupefied kitten over to face him, he unzips the front of his pants. His long thick, swelled cock jutted out, pulsing in a deep angry color. England's eyes widened at the enormous organ and gulped. Casting a shy glance upward, he found the blue eyed devil smiling heatedly at him. "Well? What are you waiting for? Lick up like you did that last time. Do it well, and I'll end your suffering....."

With the sex toy maliciously buzzing away at his insides, and his suffering cock bound up, he was left with no other choice. Extending a trembling tongue, he flicks it tentatively over the hot flesh and winces at the burning yet bitter taste. Alfred nudged it into his face impatiently. "Go on." he commanded. Quivering like a leaf, England opened his mouth and accepted the organ into his mouth. At first he wanted to gag, but his stubborn English pride refused to back down and bravely continued.

Watching the stubborn blond haired man force himself to drink his cock, America frowned and decided to show him mercy. Pulling the member out of his mouth, he unbinds his wrists gently guided his hands to his erection. "Slowly, sweet Arthur. You can do it gentle. Take your time."

Arthur looked up at the man. He was free now. He could beat the hell out of him! He could escape! .... but the thick gorge twitched in his hands, moisture gushing at the tip. The thick musk tickling his nose. His heart began to skip, his breath growing shallow. He couldn't fight it anymore. Opening his mouth, he dragged his hot slippery tongue up and down the shaft with sloppy slurps. His palms cupped the tight balls and kneaded them like bread. It pleased him to hear the smug American groan under his touch this time.

His lips worked their way over every inch of that sweltering dick and swirled his tongue around the soft head. Relaxing his jaw, he easily swallowed it this time. Playing with the underside with his tongue, he created a steady rhythm taking him deeper and deeper with each swallow. America's breathing became harsh, letting out a soft moan here and there. And when the little man did an unexpected fellatio trick, he suddenly found himself on his knees with his hips raised high in the air.

America slid his cock between the dip between his ass cheeks, the tip gently prodding the quivering hole with a cord trailing out of it that was attached to the sex toy. "I bet that toy is awful lonesome all by itself..." he grinned, stroking his bare back soothingly, "Why don't I give it some company....?"

England had every intention of demanding the toy be removed, but he was quickly silenced as something hot, long, hard, and thick slowly entered him. "Ah-uhhh uhhh uhh!! Hah!" Further and deeper it pushed through, filling him nearly to the bursting point, till he was finally settled all the way inside. Since he had been prepared before hand, and numbed by the toy, there was no fear of injury. But the sheer mass invading his insides, which pushed the buzzing bullet even deeper, already had Arthur yowling, his voice regaining it's thunder.

Pulling out all the way, with a loud glop, the light haired man thrust back in with all his might and repeated the process. With each dive his cock smooshed against the buzz toy which rubbed against his sensitive spot. America groaned, wincing in pleasure. "Wow. That toy sure is powerful. It's really driving me crazy..." England could only bleat in sweet despair. "No more... no more! Mercy.... mercy... merc- UH!" Alfred snapped his hips violently, cringing at the toy teased the tip his cock. Finally finding it unbearable any longer, he pulled completely out and removed the sex toy. It dripped wetly with melted lust.

England was finally able to catch his breath. With the toy removed, his insides were terribly abused with desire. But something was wrong. Empty... that's it, he felt empty... He longed for something. Something to satisfy his hunger. Licking his moist lips he could still taste the salty bitterness of Alfred's length. The mere thought of the pulsing rod made his insides ache.

".... Alfred...." he mewed softly, no more than a whisper. The man looked up. Reaching between his thighs, his hips held high, he spread his cheeks apart to expose his winking hole. "Please.... fill me up... feed me with your thick white love...." For once, through out this whole ordeal, America swallowed the lump in his throat, his stiff member engorging even fuller. Pouncing him at once, he thrust his enormous cock down his sweltering tight shaft.

Arthur howled in delight. Thanks to the sex toy his inner depths were ten times more sensitive and ultimately melting and singeing on the fiery rod, ramming his hips back into it eagerly.

America pounded into the smaller man, fully accepting his greedy depths and more. "Oh Arthur... your insides are sticking to me so tightly. It's really gulping me down..." he panted a raspy voice into his ear, licking the outer shell. "Does kitty want his milk?"

His face and body was dyed in a deep rouge; tears pouring from his lust glazed eyes and down his chin which dripped saliva from his lolling tongue, England answered from the deepest depths of his heart. "YES! YES! Please, master. Kitty wants his milk! Kitty wants his milk!!! Feed kitty, please!"

"Very well." the man concedes, and unties the string around his erection. England's entire body ricocheted violently with the rapid impaling. The only reason the sound of their skin slapping couldn't be heard was because their voices drowned out all other noises. And when the tide rose inside of the English man, he threw his body back, throwing an arm behind him to hold the American's head. "Faster! Faster!! Feed kitty! FEED KITTY! MEOW! MEOW!! MEOW!!!!!! MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Alfred fed Arthur to the fullest, some of it spilling out, while Arthur's own spilled all over. His body spasamed, once twice, and fell over, sprawled in a sexually satisfied half coma. His green eyes stared out blankly, a goofy smile on his face. With the apron beneath him, his backside lay fully exposed, lust dripping out of him. Suddenly a noise filled the room, like a small rumble. At first the American didn't know what it was at first until it finally struck him. England was purring.

Looking back at the blue eyed man with hazy lust gaze, me actually made little meowing noises. "Pwease, master... again. Feed me again... I'm still hungwy...." he purred, wiggling his butt enticingly. 

With his flag at full mast, America was more than happy to oblige.

ooOOooo

 

The next morning England sat at his home in bed with an ice pack on his head and one on his rump. Cursing and swearing the world away, he was just putting the finishing touches on the curse he was going to cast of America, when a package arrived. Setting the curse aside, he curiously checked the address and was disgusted to see it was from that bastard America. Opening the box he found a folded note and read it.

_Thought you might not be feeling well so I'll be coming over to nurse you back to health._

_Here are a couple things to occupy yourself till I arrive._

_~America_

Glancing inside the box, he turned a very colorful shade of red and threw it across the room where it landed with a thud, dumping out a pair of sheer black and green silk lingerie and a pair of black furry cat ears.

Diving under the blankets, the little English man screams and sobs hysterically. "I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!"


End file.
